Doctor Housewife

I met an Anambra man a few months ago, and we got talking. He’s a nurse in the U.S. and is doing quite well for himself.

He was impressed that I’m this young and already pursuing a PhD. He praised me so much that I blushed hard. This man had a sweet mouth, Odogwu Pararan couldn’t match the level of his flattery. He hyped me up more than some of my Facebook commenters ever could. I’m telling you, OND holders wouldn’t dare attempt the kind of hailing I received every single day.

After a while, he started talking about how he wanted to settle down and that he saw me as his “type.” He said I’m educated, on my way to becoming a doctor, and that I’d be able to birth smart children to carry his “legacy.” He was serious, no time for games or long conversations, he wanted marriage soon.

Every morning, he’d send me videos from a Facebook page about “boss babes,” and how men should never marry one because they’d never feel like the man in the relationship. One video claimed “boss babes” are too masculine, already think like men, and act like providers, so any man who lets his wife be that great must be less of a man. These videos pushed the idea that men should chase “legacy,” while women are meant to birth and raise it. It said “think about a woman going to work and coming back in her high heel, that kind of lady will never step off those heels and enter the kitchen, she will expect that you understand that shes just getting off work blah blah you wont be treated as the man that you are”

Then came the day he told me that Oprah Winfrey regrets not calming down to marry a man, and that she chose her career and is now living with that regret.

He shared a story about his uncle who married a medical doctor. After the wedding, she stopped practicing and focused on the home, raising the kids and living comfortably. He said they once planned to open a hospital for her, but later canceled it because “there was no point” in her practicing anymore.

To that story, I replied, “Wow. Could never be me.”

He said he liked how far I’d come, but believed it was only because I hadn’t met a provider man yet. According to him, God had now brought me one, which is him. He said he would marry me, I’d stay home and raise his “legacy” children, and he’d be the full-time provider. He promised to also take care of my family so they wouldn’t complain that their doctor sister is a stay-at-home mom.

He asked me, “Don’t you want to enjoy life?”
“Don’t you want to just relax and be taken care of?”
“You’ll never lack anything.”

Y’all, I kid you not, I was shocked. Shocked that someone could genuinely think this way. I was so shocked, he was shocked that I was shocked. 🤣

Like, so there are people who would actually say yes to that kind of offer? (No judgment, I’m just asking.)

Anyway, I said no.

He immediately began to pull back, reduced the calls, and eventually stopped entirely.

Good riddance!